Atlanta Wedding

Jared VanAlstyne and Kristy Minor are planning a wedding in Atlanta, GA while living in Brooklyn, NY.
This is their web-log of how it all went down.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

A little pushing, but no shoving

Looks like the ceremony time will be pushed back about a half hour or so, perhaps an hour, depending upon some details revolving around our current officiant.
No need to get upset though, kids. Kristy and I have heard him give a message, and were excited about the prospect of having him officiate our wedding ceremony. He seemed engaging, genuine, and charismatic. All good things to observe in a minister let alone a wedding officant. We may have to give him up, however, due to a previous engagement that occurs in his world later in the afternoon on Sunday November 5th. But be ye not concerned, ye friends of mine, more back-ups are waiting in the wings. More about that if we get there.
Another friend of ours, who happens to also be a minister, was so sweet & caring when he came to us to let us know that he was discovering some road blocks in the way of our wish to have him marry us. I have much more respect for him for telling us "no" as I'm sure the prayerful soul searching that he was doing was much more difficult than our decision process of selecting and asking the Rev. if he could do us the honor. I was moderately disappointed in the denomination that he is ministering to, which I won't directly bad-mouth here, for St. Paul calls us to study the peace and purity of the church. I was also surprised to find out how much (potential) control a church governing body might have on the various duties, and out-of-state duties that a given minister might perform. Seems like in some ways Minister have less control over what they can do than others. Perhaps this is the way 'ministering' was designed, but I have a hard time viewing how a congregation would be injured by one Sunday without their minister.

Well, I am biased against them, I'll give you that. Sorry governing church body, I shake my head at you.

I imagine that as a minister "Marrying and Burying" is something of a chore (at worst) and a incredible honor (at best). How many chores does one have to perform before one gets to fulfill a meaningful request I wonder? And for 'out-of-towners' like us, the process seems to have a level of difficulty that has the potential to make this task more chore-like, than a joyful duty. There's the process of getting to know each other, there's the 'pre-marital counseling', the condoning of the match, there's the coordination of the church/ministerial/and synod-ic calendars not to mention the details regarding the logistics of the ceremony...sounds like the makings of a headache to me.
It's easy to knock the wedding vetting process, as it is also easy to knock the many components of the wedding planning, because they have not come to us without effort and brow furrowing. Perhaps the adage "Liberty is not free. It comes with a cost." applies here. We wish to be married by a minister, in a church, before our friends and the Lord. One doesn't do this without simply consulting a wedding coordinator, but one has to meet the approval of all that are involved.
I guess I could argue that the rules that we are following are for our own benefit. Would we not benefit from interacting with a minister, a person responding to a call to act as a redeeming catalyst for those he meets during his shepherding; who at his best, cares deeply about the survivability of our upcoming marriage?

Well, thank goodness that the Lord has introduced to us the wide and open arms of the United Methodist Church, who has accepted us for our worship date. Not only are we non-members, we're also moderate strangers to these people. And remember, if we don't get our current requested minister, perhaps another ordained 'second' will leap from the wings to make sure that we get hitched.


  • At 8:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thank you Jared! I now have the website in my favorites. I really enjoyed reading more about Kristy. I thought that her job with the Blueman Group was very fascinating. I took your survey, I found the site to be very informative and I liked the maps.

    Take care and I am looking forward to the wedding in November. I have booked my flight!!

    Love, Aunt Joanne

  • At 11:41 AM, Anonymous Linner Bo Binner said…

    Sounds Complicated

  • At 1:39 PM, Anonymous Mrs. Morrow said…

    Hmmm...looks as if you're screening your comment section. I think you should have a blue man entertain at the wedding. What are we doing the day before the wedding? OH... I also think that you guys should relocate to Hotlanta. There are many job opportunities and then both of you can be closer to certain family members. I think your next visit to A-Town should include browsing the job opportunities.

    -Peace in the Middle East

  • At 2:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm ordained with the Universal Church of Life, so let me know if you'd like me to perform the ceremony. It certainly wouldn't be a 'chore' for me. Although I'll need some time to get all of the out-of-state paperwork done in time! :)

    - Graham


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